It was not the first time a scalpel crossed my skin. It was the first time I chose it. After years of therapy, fear, and waiting, I made the most important decision of my life. I faced not only physical pain, but a society that continues to refuse non-binary visibility.

My body is resistant matter and I feel like a piece of marble: the form already exists beneath the surface. It pushes outward, insists, claims space. Before flesh, I am form. A form demanding emergence.

April 23, 2025 marks my second birth.

I am Captain John, a non-binary photographer living in Berlin for 15 years. Physical change is only the visible threshold. The real passage happens in the gaze, where a body is inhabited and it is read.

Photography accompanies this process. Through diary practice and phototherapy, the act of photographing interrupts pain and makes it observable. A survival gesture.

TRAUM(a) is an archive of permanent transition, a departure from the colonialism of the body that demands coherence and opposition, a space where no one exists.

This experience captures his intimacy at his home, a huge place caught in time where all the walls are black and holds a mysterious aura.
He lives with her aunt, a person over 80 years old and full accustomed to all creative expressions made by the artist, even the most disruptive.

His home contains many disturbing objects, like the wheelchair that appears in some photographs, which was initially belonged by his mother and eventually used by his grandmother before she passed away.

He uses it frequently as a regular chair and his aunt doesn’t see any problem with that. He does not place any greater burden or superstitious attribution on some objects that hold similar stories, however impressive they may be. That’s because that have been part of their life, and he guards them very carefully and with a lot of respect.
In contrast, is also close and very passionate to many vernacular traditions, like the Mexican national sport and mariachi music.

Even when he does not talk about strong political issues, he always raises narratives that seek to break social norms, like combining traditional andas an emblem of his self view on traditional fetichism.
This project is also being an important retrospective that shows all his personal changes mainly through the body and along with the transformations in space,

Captain John captures a crucial moment in Adgehovah’s life through a very natural body-movement study, bringing the possibility to open the door to reflect on an unconventional dynamic that displays a concept of an underground family.

Written by Adgehovah DG in Third Person.

Credit 
Assistant Photographer | Ulises Gorka
Portrait of Captain John + Adgehovah DG by Ulises Gorka

Everyone has the potential to achieve their artistic utopia by themselves,
but through a community we find the support and love we may need
to feel comfortable in our bodies and ideas.
Stabbing a knife in the chest of shame.
Breaking down gender and concepts
of what a body is.
If our bodies are denied by society, in a microcosm we can begin
to reinvent the reality that ignores us.
Our body is our machine,
the source of creating a new kind of existence outside of a cis hetero patriarchal system.
Captain John’s Studio aims to be a safe place
where queer artists can share their experience in a safe environment.
Shifting from our lonely queer survival mode and begin to feel loved,
find peace in ourselves, and being creative again.

Fadeout Label

This project is in collaboration with the
Fadeout Label, a genderless clothing line which creates fashion for our non-binary future.
using upcycling and a unique perspective. 

]]> https://captainjohnstudio.com/portfolio/captain-johns-studio/feed/ 0 https://captainjohnstudio.com/portfolio/mara/ https://captainjohnstudio.com/portfolio/mara/#comments Wed, 25 May 2022 12:02:19 +0000 http://www.serenasalvadori.com/?post_type=lens_portfolio&p=1954 Captain John and Mara
met on the dance floor in Berghain
The story goes like this
Mara is by herself on the dance floor and sees Captain John
Or maybe Captain John sees her first
There are these moments everything falls into place
This is how it was with Mara and Captain John
Mara walked up to him and asked:

Mara: Can I share a secret?
John: Of course, darling
Mara: I want to be loved so bad it hurts
John: You are loved
Mara: I’m here by myself
John hugs, kisses her: Not anymore, you found your family

They stayed together the rest of the night into the morning
and saw each other again a few days later at a Poetry reading
Where Mara read a text she wrote
The first part goes like this:

Last night I jerked off
while spying on my neighbor
I stood in the kitchen
while I suddenly saw half of a naked body passing the window
I quickly turned off all the lights
so I could see better
My neighbor is around my age
Young, attractive
Wavy brown hair, glasses and a kind face
I like
wavy brown hair, glasses and a kind face
This is not the first time I look at him
I see his torso and penis
In a reflex I looked away
As you do when someone trips
But I directly look again
the confidence he has in his movement arouses me

Their first encounter and this text was the starting point of Captain John photographing Mara
Through exploring the beauty and strength of vulnerability
They created a new way of being
In doing so strengthening their relationship
From the first moment they met
They keep on building

Serena & Captain John, Bela & Belissima.
Interacting, exchanging, growing, sharing, and flourishing, together.

Aligned in a journey with an unknown end while digitally capturing genderfluidity behind and in front of the camera.

Captain John’s Studio |
Captain John is a photographer that bounces between various identities using his/her/their
camera lens to depict the power and beauty of transgressing gender norms and heteronormativity.

Model |
Béla Belissima (they/them) is a genderqueer interdisciplinary artist & activist who is passionate about destabilizing social hierarchies along binary power dynamics.
Through their writing, personal embodiment, and podcast “Queering the Perspective” they aim to transform our collective consciousness through messages of empowerment and resistance.

Label |
This project is in collaboration with the FadeOut Label, a unisex clothing line which creates fashion for our non-binary future using upcycling and a unique perspective.
A perfect match for this project.

Team |
Model is Bela Belissima / www.linktr.ee/bela.belissima | Instagram: @bela.belissima_
FadeOut Label  | www.fadeoutlabel.com | Instagram: @fadeoutlabel

Fashion |
Kimono made of upcycled demin + alcantara by @fadeoutlabel in collaboration with @paola_kubes |
Long Jacket made of upcycled demin + vintage parachutes by @fadeoutlabel |
Tights hand screen printed @77denari in collaboration with @fadeoutlabel

Credits |

Writer |  © Toni Nottebohm
Artistic direction + Photography | © Serena Salvadori

As we lost the ability to physically be with our loved ones.

We had to find community and queer love within our own four walls.

Finding inspiration and strength, from being all the things we usually seek in others.

To become Her is to allow a version of me, an extension of me, to come to light,

putting into perspective the things that otherwise do not fit.

A reminder to a self of who is inside, and of who we want with us when the world allows us to reunite again.

Credits |

Model + Style + Makeup | Astrid + Lezzie @as.trid.x

Assistant | Giulia Garetto @giuliag.r

Coronavirus separates people.
Paradoxically in our case it unites us.

We broke up after a long relationship when it all began.
This pandemic decided for us that we had to stay together more than ever.
Confined, just the two of us, between four walls.

The claustrophobia gives me the power to react and be active.

I need to touch this empty moment.
I want to challenge myself to not become crazy.
To be the light in the darkness.
Dealing with this worldwide and personal separation in the reduced space of our home.

Ongoing project | collaboration with the tattoo artist and mask’s designer Cloé Esteve

This is a documentary about gender and sexuality, through my own story.

Where I grew up, being gay was not an option. I come from a religious country and family.
For a big part of my life, I had to hide who I really was.
Then, I decided to escape. Leaving my country made me free.
I wasn’t afraid anymore to hurt the people I love and I could love whoever I wanted.

After finding my own identity and sexuality I decided to portray the women I fell in love with.
In intimacy, moments, truth.

I photographed.
She posed.
She trusted me and I let her be.

Through the eye of my camera I portrayed her beauty, fragility, and nudity.
Giving space to confidence and freedom.
Letting her  be the women she really is.

It’s not porn, it’s love.

]]> https://captainjohnstudio.com/portfolio/ce-nest-pas-du-porno-cest-de-lamour/feed/ 0 https://captainjohnstudio.com/portfolio/circulation/ https://captainjohnstudio.com/portfolio/circulation/#comments Tue, 07 Aug 2018 14:34:39 +0000 http://www.serenasalvadori.com/?post_type=lens_portfolio&p=1445 Circulation Collection | 18

Credits:

Jewelry : Pia Groh | Assistant : Ismini Goula | Models: Cloé Esteve + Goitse Montsho |  Location : Labor neunzehn